October 11, 2006
I’m trying to get out of my little world and actually get in touch with and maintain friendships that I have either neglected or have forgotten about because I’ve been stuck in my own little world. I think after getting married and having children I’ve sort of lost touch with myself and made them the center of my world. Not that I think that’s a bad thing, there is much to gain from focusing on family and daily I am reminded by their love but then there’s those times when I just feel blah….sigh…… so I’m really going to try to make the effort to keep in touch with friends and maybe having a little of my own time wouldn’t be so bad.
I had lunch with an old co-worker who always makes me laugh and who I always seem to have a good time with when I do stay in touch with her. Not too long ago I ran into her husband at a retirement party and she wasn’t with him and we talked about why she hadn’t come with him, to which he repeatedly said he “begged” her to go but that she had chosen to stay with their daughter instead of taking her to a sitter so I thought, ok, sounds alright. We talked and talked and from what I gathered from him was not at all the picture of what I see her to be, always happy, smiling and making everyone laugh-so today we talk (she and I) and she says he never invited her and she’s unhappy with her life, marriage, work…..I feel so sad for her, not that my marriage is perfect, I don’t think that one exists, and I have shared my problems with her. I think the marriage relationship constantly evolves and its communication and hard work. She’s come to the conclusion that since they have been this way for so long it could never change and she cried and I felt bad and do feel bad, I wish I could help.
I really want to keep in touch, I think friends sometimes are what get us through the lows and yes we have our family and spouses but sometimes you need to just let it out and know that you’re being heard.
